SPEAKER: S1
I'm Amanda, and I'm four.
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Welcome to Alone Together.
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On this podcast, we'll be talking about things related to mental health for gents, but especially the harmful influences of social media.
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We're hoping to create a comfortable space so listeners know that it's okay not to be okay. For those of you who feel alone, let's come together.
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Before we dive into our podcast series, we want to remind our audience that we strive to be transparent, and we also know that we're not in any way mental health professionals. By no means are we trying to give advice on mental health.
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Our goal is to talk about issues and create a space where teens can feel comfortable about what they're going through and understand that everybody deals with mental health issues differently. What works for one person isn't going to work for someone else. And in this podcast, we'll talk more about this. This week, we are taking a little bit of a twist. So we have already talked to a psychologist and a social media influencer thus far. And this week we'll be talking to a group of York region high school students about their journeys with mental health.
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We want to keep it simple and really give the students a space to share their stories.
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Although I think it's important we mention these stats first.
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So in terms of how teens are feeling, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the United States collected results from a survey and found that 36.7% of teens aged between 12 to 17 reported having persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness between 2018 to 19.
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And according to Stats Canada in 2017, 5.3 million people reported needing help with their mental health. And then the following year, 1.1 million of these same respondents said that their needs were fully unmet. In this report, respondents were 12 years old and up, so teens are included here.
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Our guest speakers will talk a bit more about how they feel. There's not many outlets to seek comfort or help from leaving them to feel that their issues are brushed aside at home and at school.
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We open the floor to seven high school students to talk about their stories, as well as their input on how schools and society as a whole approach Adolescent mental health.
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We welcome your region students Olivia, Lena, Hazel, Dominica, Claire, Daniela and Maria onto our podcast. Since this is an important time in your life when it comes to transitioning into adulthood, I want to start with a broad discussion. So my first question is what pressures have you encountered with your high school experience thus far and how has this impacted your mental health?
SPEAKER: S1
Growing up, I always felt like I was being pressured into doing well in school because in my culture that's what's important. So I was always raised to get good grades and focus in school and nothing really else. So in high school, COVID hit, and that was probably the biggest struggles because learning online, you can't really learn online. So you would resort to cheating or not really paying attention, like I would just play video games. And so that I kind of struggled and I didn't know what path I wanted to be on. I don't know where I want to go to school or what I want to do, and that's another pressure I kind of feeling. So the biggest factors, I guess, is the school system. With the COVID thing, I didn't get a chance to learn properly and going back now and having to do exams in a hard year, that kind of sucks.
SPEAKER: S2
I feel COVID has opened a lot of conversations surrounding mental health because now we're in the aftermath of it and we're kind of figuring out, okay, a lot of people are a lot of a lot of kids are dealing with this issue of, yeah, you can't focus online. And now we're it's such a sudden jump into being back in person learning. So my next question kind of focuses on stress. And, you know, I know some people suppress and ignore signs of stress. Others may become overwhelmed and limited by it. Again, everyone is different and copes differently. So how have you dealt with stress? Um, I've been getting really into different.
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Hobbies, trying to keep myself.
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Occupied over the.
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Pandemic.
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Usually like drawing guitar, stuff like that. I've watched some my friends.
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Try to write entire books, which was definitely a conversation.
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Though I have I do have some friends.
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Who have a lot of mental struggles with the pandemic and a lot I find it nice that a lot of them cope by talking to me and we just chat for a long time just about the consequences.
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About everything. I think talking is really important.
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Yeah, I agree. I remember being in high school and all we could do was just like talk to each other. We didn't have any other outlet. And that's why I want to ask, why do you guys think it can be hard for high school students to speak about their mental health problems when it comes to other aspects besides just talking to your friends?
SPEAKER: S1
So I think that the prevalence of stigma and discrimination with people towards mental health makes it difficult to have a transparent conversation about how we feel. Because I feel like at our age, like being a teenager, everyone thinks it's normal or typical to have anxiety or stress, but no one really knows like how much that can take on us because it's not just normal stress and anxiety. Like it makes your heart beat so fast, your hands get sweaty, your stomach hurts. Sometimes you can't focus in class. That's like the hardest part. It's not just, Oh, I'm getting nervous for a test. It's not like that. And I think no one really understands at school or at home. Our parents don't really understand because they're living their own lives. They're trying to take care of their own things for us. And I think you can talk to your friends like they're the ones that will understand you because you're in the same boat in high school.
SPEAKER: S2
So I remember in high school we had some seminars where people would come in and talk about mental health. But then after the seminar ended, so did the conversation surrounding mental health. It was there and then that was that. So how do you feel about the way mental health is talked about in high school?
SPEAKER: S4
I think it's different because it's a different generation, right? Like the teachers and stuff. Like they didn't grow up the same struggles we did as a teenager. So I think it's harder for them to understand that we have different struggles and like we hear it a lot like. You're young. What are you stressed about? Or like, you know, like you had it easy. Like, we hear that a lot. And I think, like, because of that, it doesn't. Well, for me at least, like, it doesn't seem genuine, like they talk about it, but it kind of just feels like like they have to talk about it. They're kind of expected to. And it doesn't feel like they genuinely care how you're feeling or like care how we're doing. Like they just do it because it's expected of them.
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Almost in a dismissive.
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Way. Yeah, I totally agree with that. I feel like. We're in a we're in a world now where mental health is so like brush aside kind of So it's really sucks. It really sucks. But like going off from that, what do you what what options do you have available when seeking help for mental health issues?
SPEAKER: S1
Well, I first started going to like friends and I didn't really feel like it was the most ideal as like they'd go talk to other people and spread things, which is why I guess my mental health got a lot worse. And after that, I started seeking help with teachers. Obviously people I can trust, and I feel like they help me a lot with like my grades, how I can like strategies of how I can improve my mental health. And I feel like a lot of them still don't understand because a lot of them didn't really go through it. And I feel like even teachers now, they just brush it off and don't really want to talk about it and really get to know how they really had that, to know how it really is and what struggles we really go through. And I feel like a lot of teachers also with how they teach, a lot of them do make our mental health a lot worse. I don't think they really notice that.
SPEAKER: S3
Yeah, I, I, I remember being in school and sitting in class and just like, you know, it's fun. But I feel like when we're all together in that class, you really don't know what everyone's going through. So I would also seek help from teachers and. Still, you would not get that get that validation, I guess. So I want to thank you for sharing that.
SPEAKER: S2
I think it's also I know that you both mentioned that there's the difference in generation and a huge, huge difference is social media. Social media is huge. It was huge when I was a teen. It still is. I take my phone everywhere. I'm on all the social media apps. But that has such a huge impact on mental health for for some teenagers. I know it did for me. So I kind of want to talk about that now. How has social media impacted your mental health, if it has at all?
SPEAKER: S1
So with social media, I'd say for me it was more of the the I think it was the addiction and like that. Like it was it kind of formed during the pandemic, not being able to really do much, although during the summer it was pretty fun. You'd be able to get out a lot outdoors. But during the wintertime and when the pandemic hit, when you really couldn't go outside, I resorted to like I needed something to do to preoccupy my mind. And although school was in the equation, there was not really much like effort or effort put towards that. So I resorted to Tik Tok because I was like, Let me see what I can do. Let me see what can occupy my my brain, my mind when I'm not doing something important. So I resorted to Tik tok. And that really, I think, took a toll on my mental health in the sense of I got like I'm like, I still am like I go on it pretty often, although now I've kind of calmed down on it, but before, like it would take up a lot of my day and hours would go by where I wouldn't even realize. And that really affected me in my schoolwork, which then affected my mental health. And the sense of I didn't realize so much time was passing by and I would get so stressed out with my schoolwork and procrastinate horribly. And that really took a toll on my mental health. Like I had mental breakdowns over like a simple essay, like a simple grade 12 essay. And it was it was just really bad. And, I don't know, like, how else I could have done something to solve that problem. And it was just a really bad cycle that I was constantly in that felt like I couldn't break out of that constant addiction or that constant craving of like instant, like short term satisfaction from like a short ten second video.
SPEAKER: S2
So we actually talked to one of our recent interviewees. He talked a lot about how social media could be in some ways under understood as an avoidance tactic. And it's so overstimulating, especially with TikTok, because that feed is endless. You're scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and then you look at the clock and you just spent 2 hours on it. So I think that. Yes, and TikTok has kind of blew up in the past recent years. So what kind of resources do you think would have helped you, maybe if teachers talked about social media usage? Just kind of walk me through what kind of what kind of resource do you think would have helped you?
SPEAKER: S1
I see. I don't know if teachers like them putting that like like that emphasis on it would have really helped me because like, although we talk about social media and how it affects our mental health, it's not really put into practice when you're on it. And then you scroll to the next video and it's something relatable and then you feel like you're in that constant loop. I think what really would have really helped me was maybe something like during especially during the pandemic, like an extra curricular is something that I could have occupied my time like, like even if it was something I don't know, like, like a club or something, because clubs didn't really run during the pandemic. So even something else that would have made my time more productive instead of being on my phone constantly and on social media, I think that would have maybe helped me more. It's like to engage in like clubs and to engage in some kind of activity or like some kind of resource would have been put out there just to have that extra like, I don't know, like support, like hobby or something.
SPEAKER: S3
Yeah, I totally get that. Yeah. It was hard during COVID to find even like I would get up and I feel like this goes for a lot of us. We would get up and try to figure out what to do or how to spend our days. But it was honestly like all you could do was just be on social media. And now speaking of that social media, there's also standards that come with it and like the beauty standard or like the success standard. So how would you say it affected your life on a daily basis? I like to say that social media is a false truth. What we see presented on those platforms is such an illusion of what actually is the reality of many people. And I think that just creates so many negative thoughts and scenarios in the minds of young teenage. Majors, specifically young girls, because there is the standard that you have to be fit, You have to be smart, you have to be intelligent all while just being happy. But how can one stay happy or even be happy when there's so much pressure to conform to a standard, right, A standard that truly doesn't even exist and is dictated by others around us? I don't think that there's anything positive in telling people, Oh, you have to be this, you have to be that.
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So can I just ask, what did you do to kind of cope with seeing these harmful social media standards?
SPEAKER: S3
Honestly to cope with it. I just tried to avoid social media and when I did have to use it, I would just go to sources and just look for things that were completely unrelated, like baking videos. Asmar Anything that just distracted me from me, you know, just things that would make me happy.
SPEAKER: S2
I'm really into a video, so I like that you brought that up. Thank you.
SPEAKER: S3
I know, right? So just kind of like a broad question, and I think at this point, all of you guys answered. So whoever wants to answer can go ahead. If you could ask for resources or something that would benefit your mental health and make it a comfortable conversation, what would you ask for?
SPEAKER: S1
I figured I'd ask for a lot more support and maybe having other people who have gone through the problems that we've gone through to come into school and talk to either like the whole school of the class or I feel like we just need more understanding people around us to understand that being stressed or having anxiety isn't just something you can. Kind of roll off your back. It's something serious. And I don't think a lot of people understand that. I think in school, from our stress and anxiety, I think some of the teachers should be understanding that we need sometimes accommodations or extra time for tests or assignments. And I think they should be a lot more welcoming to that idea. And they shouldn't just brush off how we feel because it's really hard to go to class when you're feeling like you don't belong in there and they just don't understand. And sometimes it takes a toll on you because you don't have like you don't feel like doing your work. You don't feel like taking care of yourself. So I feel like the teachers at school need to just allow us if we need that extra time. And I think they should push us to want to do better if they know, like how we're feeling.
SPEAKER: S4
I honestly wish like. Um, I don't know. I think, like, like I said before, like, school does talk about it and, you know, like it's something that's brought up often, but it's definitely not something that like, is brought up because they understand, like, it's mainly just like to get it over with. And I think. Like, no matter how much they say they understand, they don't. And I wish, like everyone had someone that they could talk to and turn to. But like, unfortunately, that's not the case a lot of the time. I'm lucky to have friends around me that listen and understand and really care about what's going on. But like, that's not the case for a lot of people. And I think like. Like we've said before, like we can definitely bring in people who have maybe gone through more like personal experiences that we can relate to, right? Because everyone has different like situations and we don't know what's going on. Right. So I think it's important to. Like broaden the spectrum of help because although, like the teachers are trying to help us, they don't understand or they may not understand.
SPEAKER: S1
I also feel like at school we should have like social work for some of the students there to not to have someone to talk to and not be afraid. And it's not just like like a regular teacher, I guess you could say. It's like someone who. It kind of knows like is like in that profession, like they know what they're talking about, like with mental health. I think that would be good for some students at school to have a social worker.
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This is a bit more of a personal question, so whoever feels comfortable enough to share. Please do. So we've talked a lot about conversations happening and the manner that they're happening in high school. I want to talk about if any conversation surrounding mental health because it is a taboo topic are happening in your households. Is that something that happens or are you pushing for that? Do you have possibly older siblings who have maybe gone through similar experiences, even younger siblings, anybody who feels open to share? Please do.
SPEAKER: S1
I feel like at my household I try to talk about it and like a lot. I'm going to be honest. My parents don't really believe in that stuff. So feeling this way and knowing that my parents don't think it's real really takes a toll on how I feel. And like over the past few years, I've never felt like I can't even stay around my family anymore. I go hide up in my room. I listen to music. I spending most of my life sleeping. I just don't feel like a lot of people understand in my household for me as well. Like, I feel like, okay, so my my parents have been they they grew up in a generation where it was less talked about, mental health was really not spoken about, and it was just really hidden and not brought into light. And so they kind of reflected that on me and my siblings growing up. But I feel like now that it's becoming more of a pressing topic, especially after the pandemic, My mom especially has been a really good support for mental health and always talking about whether she sees that I'm more in my room. The only thing is she won't address it directly, but she'll know something's up and try and speak about it. But I feel like it needs to be more of a topic that's actually a sit down talk about it. Just because I feel like even in ethnic households, it's often ignored. Just because it was it was always put under the rug like, Oh, you don't have bills to pay, you don't have any issues like, what are you complaining about or what are you sad about? You don't have anything to be sad about, even though our topics are things that we are like really, really down about or if we're depressed or something, anything like that. It's very important as it can affect this later on in life, and I think it's good to tackle it at an early age. But a lot of parents don't understand that. And so it's not really a common issue, common topic spoken about, especially in ethnic households.
SPEAKER: S3
I know this is an uncomfortable conversation. It can be sometimes. And I want to thank you guys for sharing because I know it can be hard and I totally understand that where your parents. It's hard to talk to your parents. It is. I also grew up like that. But I just want to make sure that you guys understand that this is a. We're trying to make it comfortable. And I'm glad that we can all talk about things that I think a lot of us are going through similar situations. So thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER: S1
Well, my family doesn't really talk about mental health. It's mostly my dad. My my mom and I are kind of similar and having like mental health issues, but we just choose not to talk about it. My brother and I have an eight year difference and he just graduated from York and he doesn't know what he wants to do in life. He feels that the path that he chose, he doesn't want to take it anymore. And I feel the same. So the fact that I have someone older and someone who I respect going through what I kind of I'm going through because I don't know who I want to be, I don't know what I want to do. It's nice, but definitely if I'm having like a bad day or am I sad my friends aren't listening to me, it's I can't even resort to my parents in a way because, you know, like someone else said, what do I have to be sad about? I'm not paying anything. I'm not I don't have a job. And I guess in their in their heads, I can't be stressed.
SPEAKER: S3
I think that if more support and acceptance was just universally provided by not only the people close to us, but also strangers that were yet to interact with it would just make us so much more comfortable with truly being ourselves and we wouldn't hold back.
SPEAKER: S1
Or hide what we're really.
SPEAKER: S3
Believing in or capable of. Because I think that for me, at least, one of my biggest problems when approaching new situations or especially university, is that I don't know where I want to go and what I want to do, and I'm just more nervous of being ridiculed for that. So I'm not going to say that. But I think if there was more acceptance just with everyone and more kindness than it would be a lot easier to just figure out where to go and what to do. And do you feel like you're experiencing that right now or not? Yeah, at home my parents are. I'm fortunate enough to have parents who are supportive of me not yet knowing the exact path I want to take, and they only ever encourage me to pursue something I'd be happy doing. So I'm extremely thankful for the support I have at home. However, at school and with teachers, it's you have to know what you want to do. And that's just put so much emphasis on from grade nine because the courses you want to take, the sciences or maths you want to take, there's so much pressure to just know right from the start.
SPEAKER: S2
I like how you mentioned it's about finding what makes you happy because it really is at the end of the day. And I always say this, but you have to put yourself first and your interests and your goals first. And I'm going to be honest. I'm in journalism now. In grade 12, I think a week before the university application deadline, I randomly chose journalism and I ended up falling in love with it. And I'm third year now. So things I think things sometimes also kind of happen for a reason in a weird kind of coincidental way as well. But I like how you mentioned. Yes, it is. It is about finding what makes you happy, although it is difficult when. Parents or teachers may not be in support of that decision or are kind of pressuring you to go in another route. I think that's something that kind of challenges.
SPEAKER: S3
Yeah, and it's this idea of independence now where you got to I think we're in a day and age where especially this high school, it's that transition period and you're becoming an adult and everyone's like, you got to know what you want to do. But it's also a thing of like, if you're going to give me if you're going to tell me, like, I have to know what I want to do, then give me the opportunity to make that decision. And I totally understand where you're coming from. So anyone else want you?
SPEAKER: S1
I feel like for me, I'm stressed to be like an adult because from a young age, like from grade nine, we had to choose courses based on what we wanted to be. And like five years, like our minds change, like, ah, we're not the same person. And I feel like because we're pressured so much to know what we want to do, we're kind of like stripped from like our fun years, I guess. And I feel like that makes us just like, gives us like more stress and anxiety because we just want I feel like the age that we're now, we're supposed to have like fun and laugh and be together. But I guess the school system is like we're designed to like, know what to do and then go to university right after, then work our whole lives. Like, I don't think that makes me feel better at school because everyone's just like pressuring us to get a job right away.
SPEAKER: S4
I also think that, you know, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves because, like everyone said, like. A lot is expected from us, I feel like. And. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves because we want to make the people around us proud. Right? But I think we often forget that not a lot of people don't know what they want to do. Like even adults, they don't know who they are. They don't know what they want to do. And it's just kind of. Like, in my opinion, it's just kind of them projecting on us, right? I feel like. It's hard to know who you are because I feel like that's just such a wide spectrum. You can be anything, but, you know, it really just depends on the opportunities that are given to you. And I feel like a lot of people don't know who they are and like, it's hard to get. It's hard to know.
SPEAKER: S1
I feel like it's hard to know who you are. Like when everyone is telling you who you're you have to be. Even like Tatu was previously said, even like having the like putting a lot of pressure on ourselves when we even like. For me, personally, like, my plan for my future is really like, it's really difficult for me because it's like, what if I don't achieve those things? What happens? And like that constant pressure that I put on myself is it's really tolling because it's like constantly in school. It's like you have to be a leader for this like three different extracurriculars in order to get really good, really good scholarships are really good or to have a really good future. And it's like that constant need to keep up with like the idea of success that's always constantly put on us. And like also what was previously said, even though these years are supposed to be for us, enjoying our lives, enjoying our high school experience, it's often not with all the academic kind of pressure and like standards that we have to constantly live up to. It's like, where do we actually have time to take a moment and take a break and have time to ourselves and with others around us to actually enjoy the years that we have left.
SPEAKER: S3
So I just want to.
SPEAKER: S2
Ask this last question almost in a kind of closing note. What do you guys take from this conversation today? And how are you going to go beyond and even just talking about mental health with others, maybe even kind of sort of introducing the topic at home? What do you take from this today?
SPEAKER: S1
I feel like a lot more of us are going through it than we know. Like a lot of us are dealing with the same struggles and we usually all keep it to ourselves. So I feel like when we have a comfortable space to talk about it, that's when we all will feel better. And I feel like it's really healthy to talk to people about it that you trust. And at home and even at school. I feel like anywhere in like the social place you should be talking about, like the struggles we have or how we feel. I feel like it's very important that it should be talked about. And like Ashley said, I feel like there's a lot of other people who we don't really know that go through the same thing. But what's more important is that these people like us don't want to be judged for being considered different or not normal because stress, anxiety, mental health, illnesses, anything really. It's not normalized in today's age.
SPEAKER: S2
And it's very real and it's happening.
SPEAKER: S1
I feel like this is a very comfortable place to share something because personally, I don't really have that support system because I feel like I would be judged. And it's nice that everyone kind of goes through, you know, everyone has mental health and everyone feels stress and everything. It's nice to talk about without feeling judged. So that was nice. And I also think that having mental health doesn't make you less than or a burden or anything or weaker. I think you have to help yourself if you want to get better and. You. You can't look like when you're feeling all those things, you have to take control of it yourself and you have to. I know it's hard. It's easier said than done, but you have to take control of your own thoughts and switch them around whenever you feel that way.
SPEAKER: S4
I think, you know, having conversations like this kind of reminds us like we're human and we're kids, like. Were. Like we just have to kind of relax and just really take a breather. We're only, what, 15, 15, 16? Like we're just kids and like. There's a lot that's expected from us. But at the end of the day, what can we do? Right? We can't do anything about it anyway.
SPEAKER: S2
So the name of our podcast is Alone Together, because you know, when you are going through things, you do feel isolated, You do you do feel alone regardless of who you're talking to and what your outlets are. So I know this was a challenging conversation to have, but I think at the same time it was it was needed. It's a needed conversation and it doesn't end here. And I think it has to be talked about more. So I just wanted to thank all of you for sharing your experiences, your stories. It means a lot and we do really appreciate it.
SPEAKER: S3
Yeah, 100%. Thank you guys for making letting us be able to make this a comfortable conversation and for sharing your personal, personal experiences. Personal stories, it means a lot. So thank you so much.
SPEAKER: S2
Well, that was a powerful discussion. I think it really gave us insight into how teens nowadays are feeling about mental health conversations, the importance in having these conversations and the lack of understanding that some receive in their school and home lives. So unfortunately, it seems that mental health is approached in a very similar way to when we were teens in high school. What do you think for?
SPEAKER: S3
Yeah, it's sad to see that the discussion on mental health hasn't changed and teens are still experiencing similar feelings we experienced. It says a lot about the environment created for teens who are transitioning into adulthood. And honestly, I believe there should be more done given how they are feeling.
SPEAKER: S2
And with that point, this podcast series has finally come to an end. But that doesn't mean this conversation has to.
SPEAKER: S3
And remember to check out our other two podcasts if you haven't already. For more conversations on adolescent mental health. We hope that you no longer feel alone, but alone together with us. We also hope you have found this podcast to be a comfortable space.
SPEAKER: S2
Thank you for being a part of this journey with us. We hope we have inspired you to continue having conversations involving mental health. That's a wrap on this week's episode. Thank you for listening to Alone Together. We are your hosts, Amanda and Farr.
SPEAKER: S3
We want to remind you that.
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It's okay not to be okay.
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We know this is hard stuff to talk about. We hope this episode has helped you.
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If you're feeling alone.
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But please, if you need help or are in crisis, you can contact kids. Help phone at one 800 6686868 or talk Suicide Canada at 18334564566.